Oh, and also...

I ran into a problem with my "Cause of the Month". I did some reading, I cleaned out my closets, I wrote a post... Then I realized I didn't know what else to do. Heh... Yeah. I'll work on better planning for next month. >.<

Seriously though next month will be much better, I promise. I'm working now to get some ideas together, and I'm actually going to seek some advice from others rather than try to do it all on my own.

It's slighty embarassing that this month kinda flopped, but I'm looking at it as motivation to do better next time. Whoot!^^

I'll Have the Seakitten Sticks!

I realized last night that, not only have I not updated my blog in a while, I haven't included the "Creating" part in my posts. I decided to do that today.^^

I love crafts. Here lately I've been enjoying card-making. I found some really awesome books at the library and learned how to do more with what I have, which isn't much due to my economical state. (In other words, I'm broke. >.< ) I really like this waterfall mechanism I found in the book Paper Pop Up. I made a card using this technique for my boyfriend, and my brother saw it and loved it. So today I surprised him with one.

He loves fish, so I used that as my theme.

I then used the panels of the card for a small comic strip. By the way, PETA really does want to change their names. ... You'll see.

I really like the way the card looks really complicated when in all actuality it's fairly simple. Here's an "action shot".

OOooo... Action shot. Sorry.

Anyhow, I thought I'd start making cards more often. Everyone enjoys receiving a card, and I enjoy making them and seeing others light up when they get it. It seems like a simple enough equasion.^^

Oh, and as an extra added bonus, here's a picture of my puppy.

Isn't she cute?!

Just an Update

I have been extremely tired here lately, and I couldn't figure out why. For about a week or two, I've been gasping for air, and my heart would race for about a minute, and then I'd be fine again. Well, Friday I figured out why.

I arrived at the ER at 9:30 Friday morning hardly able to breathe. Being 19 now, and an adult, I had to fill out my own paperwork. Due to lack of oxygen to the brain, I was having a hard time thinking of words and putting them together in a sentence. So, when I had to fill out the reason why I was there, I put "rapid heartbeat; not enough air; numb toes and hands". Apparently "not enough air" is a good enough reason to get you back quickly. Which is awesome.

I was diagnosed with heart palpitations and had to get some pricks and pokes so they could draw some blood. They're testing me for a hyper- or hypo-active thyroid, the latter of which runs in my family. I have to go back this Tuesday so some more doctors can look at me and try to pinpoint exactly what's wrong and what they should do about it.

I'm not at all fond of being tired all the time. I'm not getting anything done, and the lack of air isn't helping. Please pray for me and the doctors that will be seeing me. Hopefully I'll be back to my projects in no time.^^

Pants vs. God - My Personal Story

(First of all, I just want to say I never thought I'd type a title like that. Very rarely do I make myself giggle, but I did just now. >.< )

I don't wear pants! I wear skirts! I wear dresses! I wear culottes! As of three days ago, I wore pajama pants to bed, but even those are out! And the reason I threw pants out of my wardrobe is God doesn't want women to wear pants!

I had to shout it. I had to let the world know. My eleven-year-old cousin asked me a few weeks ago, "Sissy, why are you wearing a skirt? It's like three degrees out here!" I told her that I don't wear pants anymore, and then she asked the obvious next question, "Why?"

I had my opportunity to share with her a little bit about God and about Jesus, and instead of being excited like I should have been, for some reason I felt embarassed. "Because, now be quiet." What kind of answer is that? I felt so ashamed of myself later that I cried to God, asking for Him to forgive me and give me the opportunity to redeem myself, or at least try. And now my story.

Mrs.Kristy is my pastor's wife. I love her to death. I'm ashamed to say it wasn't always that way. When I first met Mrs.Kristy, God and I weren't getting along. At all. My heart was so against God and everything He stood for that when I met Mrs.Kristy I couldn't stand her because she LOVES God and EVERYTHING He stands for. She was a walking, talking, living, breathing Bible for me, and I couldn't stand it. When I noticed she only wore skirts, I was afraid she'd ask me to do the same. I whipped out my Bible to do some research, hoping to figure out ways to counter her skirt-attack.

Then I realized that I didn't really know how to use my Bible, so I just did my Bible reading Pastor had given at Learning Environments. I read Deuteronomy 21 and 22, and came across an interesting verse, one I'm sure you've heard at least reference to. "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God." I'd found Deuteronomy 22:5. I took note of the passage and thought to myself, "Well, I found these jeans in the women's section, so I'm fine."

A few days later I found a verse related to modesty, and I can't for the life of me find where I wrote it down in my notes. It was then that I decided that I wouldn't wear my jeans. They were extremely tight, and not at all modest. But my sweatpants? Come on. There was nothing immodest about them. So, I wore them.

It wasn't long after that Pastor invited my boyfriend Joshua and I to visit his family in Illinois. So, we packed up and went. I don't remember if it was the ride there or the ride back when Mrs.Kristy drove, but whichever it was, I was stuck up front with her. She'd started to grow on me, but there was still the skirt thing. Did I have to wear them all the time? Really? I asked her about skirts, and we talked for a while, and what I got out of it was this: Women are supposed to be modest. We're not supposed to draw attention to our body that will cause others to sin.

I could totally pull that off in sweatpants. Sweatpants aren't going to give anyone unsavory thoughts. But then they did. I noticed that people, well guys, were still looking at me. I went home from the store, after being looked at once again, and prayed. I asked God to forgive me because I realized that I'd done wrong. You really can't be modest in pants. Really. Not even the sweatpants. Women are full of curves, which aren't wrong to have, but are wrong to show off to others. Pants are going to show off your body in a way that a skirt never will. You can't see every detail of a woman's body with a skirt, but pants are made to hug the body, even the sweat pants or "loose-fitting" pants. Dressing immodestly is going to cause someone else to sin. I didn't want that. I wanted to be closer to God and realized that even the sweatpants had to go.

So, the pants are gone, the skirts and dresses are in, and I love my pastor's wife. She's an amazing lady who, thank God, didn't give up on me and my hateful attitude. And God and I continue to grow closer, too. Thank you, God, for not giving up on me and my hateful attitude, my sinful tendencies, and my efforts that will always fall short. Thank you, God, for Jesus, for Your Word that I can enjoy and learn from, and for Your love.

Pants: 0
God: All

A Cause I Believe In ... Part I

What would it look like if everyone put 100% of their effort into a cause they believed in?

It's a question to ponder. What could you accomplish if you put all frivolous things aside and focused your energy on something that was truly important to you? This is assuming you know what's important to you. Many people say that something is important to them, but then do something that completely contradicts that fact. They'll say they believe in something, but if you watch them, their actions tell you otherwise. Blue Like Jazz author Donald Miller wrote, "What I believe is not what I say I believe; What I believe is what I do." What do you do to support your so-called beliefs? A lot? A little? Anything at all?

I am in no way excluding myself as a reciever of this message. In fact, this whole to-do was written with myself in mind. What am I doing to support my beliefs? My resolution for this new year was at first to be a better follower of Jesus. That's very vague, so I revised it to say, "I want to be a better follower of Jesus, and I will do this by standing up for the things I believe in and sharing them with others." This is also somewhat vague, but because I'm not doing a whole lot to voice my opinion, anything at all would be an improvement.^^ Besides, I'd like some room to be creative.

So, my first cause: Modesty.

This hasn't always been an issue with me. I would tell you that it bothered me when the cheerleaders wore short skirts and jumped around, and that may have led you to think I cared about modesty, but if you went through my closet you'd soon come to the conclusion that I was a hypocrite. And I was. I wore jeans so tight you could see the date on the dime in my back pocket. And they were always the low-rise or super low-rise or even dangerously-low rise jeans. The neckline of my shirts dipped dangerously low themselves, and when I wore shorts... Were those even considered outerwear?!

Looking back (to just this past year even), I can't imagine what my rationale was for this behavior. I wore clothes (can you even call them that?!) that showed off my body in order to attract attention. That's all I wanted was attention. I didn't even consider who I was getting the attention from, and I don't think any young girl stops to to think about whose eyes they're drawing to themselves. You're going to catch whatever you put bait out for, and dressing with sex in mind is going to get you just that - sex. And nothing more. It's not going to get you love. It's not going to get you friendship. It's going to get you into a heck of a lot of trouble, that's for sure, but really, what else?

There are many things that are important to me, but modesty is something new that God has brought into my life, and I want to share it with other young ladies who will come after me. I understand what they're doing, and even understand why to a point, but I also know the other side, the God-pleasing, self-respecting side, and it is so much better. It's the way God intended us to be. Not just ladies, but everyone. I simply focus on the ladies because I have more experience in that area seeings how I am one.^^

I'm going to put 100% of my effort into serving God this next year, and my focus for January will be Modesty. I want to share my mini, month-long journey with you here, so stay with me. I'm not quite done. I'll have more posts on the topic in January. Hopefully by then I'll have pictures up here and it won't be so drab. Whoot!

A Horrible, Gnawing Pain

This past Sunday evening, my church went to a local nursing home to go caroling. I didn't even know people still did that. I thought it was just something done long ago or in Movie Land, but apparently real people still do it to be a blessing to others.

So, I, with my horrible singing voice, caroled along with the others in front of a group of about 20 elderly people. It was... so unreal. I thought I'd be terrified, but it was more like I was asleep, and my dream-self was fading in and out from the nursing home scene to a far off desert, though that may have just been the heat. (It was 81 degrees in that place...) After we sang a handful of songs in the main gathering space, we went around shaking hands, smiling, and wishing everyone a "Merry Christmas". Most of the residents were in wheelchairs, and some were asleep, though others, I'd noticed, had been singing with us. I had one more thing in common with the people who had sung along, so I smiled and thanked them for their enthusiasm. Then we went caroling down the halls...

It was so horrible. The people we sang to while walking down the halls were the ones who'd already fallen asleep or simply couldn't get out of their beds. When we reached the end of the hall, we finished singing, then dispersed to wish the rest of the residents a "Merry Christmas". As I walked down the hall, I saw lights and heard a TV from the room just ahead of me, so I made my way there quickly. When I entered the room, there lay a man, whose name, I later learned, was Michael. I tried my best not to stare at his swollen cranium, probably due to a brain tumor or something equally as horrendous, and quickly stated my line. I went to shake his hand, and stood utterly horrified when I realized he had no limbs. I wasn't horrified by the fact he didn't have any arms or legs, but rather that I'd made a fool of myself and possibly offended the poor man. I looked up into his eyes, which were so sad and ... empty? He didn't utter a word, just sat there looking at me, with so much sadness that I had to look away. I tried to recover by commenting on the Blue's Clues he was watching, but I could only stand another second before I wished him a "Happy New Year" and left. Stupid girl.

I cried. Tears silently slid down my face as I walked down the hall back towards the exit. I popped into a few more rooms, but I couldn't get that horrible, sickening feeling to go away. I made a friend while standing near the exit, Katherine, who, as sweet as she was, couldn't ease that pain still gnawing away at my stomach.

I don't understand how people can be left like that. Maybe their families just couldn't stand to see them in such pain, so they left them to be taken care of by others. It may have been the only thing they could afford. Maybe they didn't have family. Another thing I don't understand is how those people go on living. Michael, for example, looked absolutely miserable. Just to look in his eyes.... It was like hearing him scream for help, but worse because the torment was so bad, he couldn't scream.

I pray for the residents of the nursing home, and everyone like them. I pray that God gives me the opportunity to go back and be a better blessing. And I thank God for teaching me about aging, family, and pain, even though they were tough lessons to learn.

You Better Watch Those Ps and Qs, and Maybe Even Your Rs...

Today was a day of learning for me. Today is Tuesday, and I wasn't sick, and neither was my PW, which means we spent the day together to further my studies as a woman after God's heart. This is supposed to be the plan for every week, but the late illnesses have thrown a monkey wrench - or sledge hammer, whichever you prefer - into our plans. But this Tuesday worked out smoothly. Whoot!

Moving on, Mrs.K and I spent about an hour and a half to two hours studying the book of Ruth, chapters one and two. I loved it. I loved her style of studying, learning, teaching, observing, and perceiving. She taught me a different way of looking at things, which really helped me. I'm not entirely good at reading between the lines of the Bible, and by that I don't mean making up my own stuff to put in there. I mean that I can't visualize the details of what might have happened unless they were specifically mentioned. I don't know why, but I can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that this is an account of what happened, but not every detail is listed.

For example, take Ruth 2:5,6: "Then said Boaz unto his servant that was set over the reapers, Whose damsel is this? And the servant that was set over the reapers answered and said, It is the Moabitish damsel that came back with Naomi out of the country of Moab" I never would have thought how this servant may have found out about Ruth. As the study continued however, Mrs.K mentioned gossip and how fast news traveled by mouth. I never would have thought to add that to the movie going on in my head. I must admit, the movie in my head is really boring, and one that I'd never watch in real life. >.< It was just really neat to be able to see how she (Mrs.K) thinks and how she takes what's in the Bible and doesn't change it, but comes to her own conclusions from what's written. I like that. It's something that I need to work on.

On to my second lesson for the day...

Mrs.K, before the Bible study, ran into the store for a moment leaving me in the van with her two-year-old daughter, Audrey. I was doing my best to hold a conversation with Audrey, who wanted nothing to do with small talk about how she was feeling and how the weather was and instead wanted to talk about her pink pony and how amazing her book was, when all of the sudden she turned the conversation onto her mother. She was obviously fed up with me. Anyhow, she asked what her mother was doing, and I replied that she was buying lunch for Trey and Grace, Audrey's older siblings, so she could run them over to the school. Audrey looked at me with her fiery red hair poking out from under her clashing-but-adorable pink hat and with her tiny eyebrows furrowed and said, "No, she's buying ice cream." I answered her in that tone older people take with young kids trying to sound fun and light-hearted, "Noooo, she's not buying ice cream!" Do you know what she said to me? "Pft!" ... She "pft"ed me!

My eyes were the size of saucers, I'm sure. You see, Audrey's two. She's not supposed to have responses like "Pft!" and say things like "Niiiiiiice" in reaction to someone moving a huge load of cookies into the Aldi's, which she said a few weeks ago, but she does! And then I noticed that those are things I say. Those are responses I have logged into my vocabulary. I realized that, although I may not be Audrey's favorite person (that has to be either her parents or Joshua, not sure which), she watches me. She picks up on things I do. I have an impact on her. That was... well, kinda scary actually. To think that I have an influence on other people's children is quite a wake-up call. This is a HUGE responsibility. I need to really watch my Ps and Qs here. I'm not just affecting myself in this life; I'm being watched, and I'm teaching others.

I think this is something we all need to keep in mind, something that we all need to realize and react to. As my Pastor says, "we're not supposed to do this [the journey] alone", and you definitely aren't alone. You're learning and teaching, whether you realize it or not.