As Time Passes...

It's been a long time since I last posted. A lot has happened. I've been proposed to (said yes!); I've been planning a wedding, and I attended one (I was the maid of honor for my best friend); I've been searching for work, and finally landed a job (maybe two!); I've hunted down apartments, opened bank accounts, searched for accessories, taken pictures, cried, talked decorations, baked like crazy, prayed, discussed some of the more delicate details, attended pre-marital counseling, started packing my things, prayed some more, participated in church activities, spent some money I shouldn't have, cried even more, and tried my best to thank God for it all.

You know what I haven't been doing? Paying attention. Time is something I have a hard time budgeting. I'm far more stingy with my time than I am my money. Right now I have a little free time and a laptop with internet capabilities, so I'm blogging. I glanced over some of my previous posts before I began. I found this picture:


This picture is so sad. My eyes tear up, and I feel like a huge failure. You know that feeling, like you're at the bottom of a pit, and it's dark and cold and lonely, and all you can do is cry? I'm there, in the mud, dirty, weeping.
I made this card for a lady I had met at a nursing home my church family visited. She was so sweet and loving. Was. I never gave her this card. I kept telling myself, "I need to visit that nursing home again." "Oh, I have to make time for this because I need to see her again, and she'll just love this card." By the time I finally made time, it was too late.

I took my card with me along with a picture of the two of us, and I was so excited! I remember looking through all the rooms for my dear friend, and getting to the end of the hall, and doubling back, tears already starting to get the best of me. I made my way to the desk, asked... no? Are you sure? Could you check again, maybe I spelled it wrong...

Time doesn't wait for you. It surely didn't wait for me, and why should it? What have I got going on that's more important than a "Hi, I'm so glad you're a part of my life! Let me spend some time with you! Let me shine Jesus into your life!" Nothing.

God doesn't waste a single painful experience. I'm not going to waste this painful experience either. I need to be aware of what's going on as time passes me by.